The Reality of Maternity and Paternity in the Software Industry

Dysfunctosoft, you are indeed extremely dysfunctional, but the Cranky Product Manager truly appreciates the flexibility you have afforded her as she attempts to figure out the motherhood-working mom-consummate-professional balance thingy. 

You've been understanding about the CPM's requirement for a reduced travel schedule, her need to leave at 5pm on the dot when she once regularly stayed past 9pm, and her need to work at home when her nanny gets sick, doesn't show up, or quits out of the blue and leaves the CPM without viable alternative childcare for 3 weeks at a time. You've put up with canceled and postponed meetings due to illnesses and doctors visits. You've gracefully dealt with conference calls with a wailing baby in the background. Kudos to you, DysfunctoSoft.  The Cranky Product Manager thanks you.

So yes, DysfunctoSoft, you are enlightened. Somewhat. But she can't help but notice you don't give the DADS the same flexibility as you afford moms.  You expect the dads to travel incessantly, work endlessly late hours, and be available on a moment's notice.  And DysfunctoSoft is hardly atypical.  For example, the Darling Husband of the Cranky Product Manager works at nearby software company  -- let's call it AHoleSoft -- in a similar role.  AHoleSoft gives Darling Husband no slack to contribute to the childcare situation.  (AHoles. What do you expect?)  As a result, it all falls 100% on the Cranky Product Manager's shoulders.  And that is crap, my friends.  Unexpected crap, at that.  Especially for someone ambitious who had dreams of taking over the world with her wealth of product management knowledge and derivative evil genius.  Though she never thought it would happen to her, the Cranky Product Manager finds her career derailing, unable to accept a promotion because she can barely keep up as is.

Prior to this whole kid thing, the Cranky Product Manager had full (naive) expectations of a 50-50 marital split in terms of child-raisin'.  After all, she brought down slightly more coin than DH, has a megawatt education, and had a pretty freakin' important job and excellent career prospects. Furthermore, Darling Husband fully supported this 50-50 split idea. He was all in favor of it.  He's a natural with kids and wanted to spend lots of time with his offspring. 

But alas, you Software Industry Mo-Fos make it pretty freakin' impossible.  Oh yes, you try to be nice to moms, and your efforts are appreciated.  But just remember, you can't really help working moms unless you help their husbands/partners too.