Persona Non Grata

OK, contrary to popular theory, the Cranky Product Manager is not dead.  She blames her lack of blog posts on the holiday madness, especially her miserable attempt to play Santa for her infant. And then, just as the holidays wrapped up and the last thank you note was written, the Cranky Product Manager was held against her will in a smoke-filled hotel for a entire week, forced to give product training to a bunch of hungover sales droids. And then attend their booze-drenched, endless awards ceremony.

Anyway, back to blogular business. 

These days, seems like most in the product management blogouniverse think user personas are the shizz, the best thing going since the invention of the triple shot grande skim latte.

Never able to resist development fads, everyone at DysfunctoSoft is getting on this persona bandwagon.  Example:

VINEETA
Vineeta is 33 years old and an entry-level IT manager at a mid-sized insurance company located on the Philadelphia Main Line. She manages a claims payment application for the auto insurance division. The application was developed before she was born. After a messy breakup with her fiancee one year ago, Vineeta moved back in with her parents. Her bedroom is now the same one she grew up in, and there's still a poster of Green Day on the wall.  Vineeta is an Aries and enjoys long romantic walks on the beach. She has a 7-year old cat named Whiskers, whom the ex-fiancee detested.

Well, gee. How nice.  What a nice, although potentially fragile, person that Vineeta seems to be. The Cranky PM sure hopes that DysfunctoSoft builds her some nice software.....

hmm.  yep.

OK, the Cranky Product Manager HAS to say it.  SO WHAT?  WHO FREAKIN' CARES about Vineeta's hobbies or pets or love life? Seriously, what do these colorful details have to do with how Vineeta uses DysfunctoCrank 7.5?   

Why are all the personas the Cranky PM sees littered with this type of crap detail instead of the facts that REALLY matter? Such as: How much time does Vineeta spend working with the application? What level of technical expertise does she have? What types of tasks does she usually do in the app?  What circumstances would make her depart from the usual routine, etc...?

ARGH.  Cranky Alert! Cranky Alert!  Shelter in place, please!