Product Management Haiku
Inspired by the fine, upstanding folks at Pivotal Product Management, here are some enthralling and inspirational haiku the Cranky PM whipped together.
Join in the fun! Submit your own haiku in the comments.
Gartner, Forrester,
How the CPM hates you.
Damn Magic Quadrant.
Product Marketing:
They tell product lies all day
But they don't know it.
Only Bad PMs
Don't install or even use
The products they own.
Their bogus excuse:
"Technically impossible,"
Code Boyz and Girlz claim.
Darling Customer.
We shipped you crap. I'm sorry.
Please abuse me now.
Top-down, bottom-up...
How to do product planning?
We always debate.
Supported products.
An integration nightmare.
Zillions of versions.
Upgrade now or else
We'll de-support the release
Your business uses.
Sales Droid always blames
Lost deals on missing features.
Wins are due to him.
Short beta programs:
For publicity only,
Not for finding bugs.
Trade shows are useless
Tools for generating leads.
They just want free pens.
Awesome. Let me try one:
Product Manager:
Engineers, executives
Ignore market facts
Posted by: Greg Glockner | April 09, 2008 at 04:41 PM
Engineers should not
ever give product demos
users fall asleep
Posted by: Another cranky PM | February 01, 2008 at 02:45 PM
Coder turned PM
Second thoughts, is it too late?
How I miss sandals...
Posted by: esahc | January 31, 2008 at 08:07 AM
Thanks for the post, CrankyPM, and the great Haiku contributions of your readers. We love your blog!
- Linda & Mara at PivotalPM
Posted by: Linda | January 16, 2008 at 04:28 PM
I love you, CPM. Thank you for bringing this blog to life.
Posted by: S@L | December 31, 2007 at 10:21 PM
I remember you
Didn't you used to be a
product manager?
Posted by: bob corrigan | December 21, 2007 at 08:33 AM
A visionary
builds products for the future
but with no market.
Posted by: thenine | December 11, 2007 at 11:27 AM
.Net, PHP,
the language of the coders.
I prefer English.
Posted by: thenine | December 11, 2007 at 11:26 AM
The Executives
have absolutely no clue
what our products do.
Posted by: thenine | December 11, 2007 at 11:25 AM
We got more coders
To get to market faster.
That was the theory...
Posted by: Fred | December 10, 2007 at 11:39 AM
I have a client
who can not afford to pay
but they're strategic
Posted by: thenine | December 05, 2007 at 04:22 PM
Why no Product Book?
Afraid Customer Service
Will ask to see it?
Posted by: Sit10 | November 29, 2007 at 04:46 PM
The CPM can't stop herself. More haikus...
Stupid beta build
Always crashes the machine
During big demo
Posted by: The Cranky Product Manager | November 26, 2007 at 12:54 PM
Great stuff...some of these really hit home.
Inspired, I've put up a haiku posting myself.
http://onproductmanagement.wordpress.com/2007/11/23/more-haiku-madness/
Saeed
Posted by: Saeed Khan | November 25, 2007 at 08:04 AM
I wish I knew the
Cranky Product Manager,
a friend in blog life.
Posted by: Steve Johnson | November 22, 2007 at 04:55 AM
Kevin, poor Kevin.
No loss is ever your fault.
The world's worst sales man.
Posted by: Steve Johnson | November 22, 2007 at 04:49 AM