The Cranky Product Manager

Getting Demonstrative at Trade Shows

The fine, upstanding, big-brained individuals at Pragmatic Marketing posed the question as part of their ginormous BlogFest:

Why demo at trade shows?

So the Cranky Product Manager answers, in her usual, long-winded fashion...

The main reason B2B software companies demo at trade shows is simple: TRADITION. The practice has been around for eons. In fact, the following image depicts the world's first trade show booth, with a smartly dressed product manager showing off the latest product features to a huge crowd of -- wow!-- three passersby (pretty typical for a trade show).

Notice that the audience appears to be quite "excited" by the demo of the latest version of the HMS 4.2 (Hieroglyphic Management System). But, alas, only one of the three viewers (meaning the dude with the big hat) has even the slightest ability to influence software purchases. Also, it is not clear why the audience is so very attentive and excited. Perhaps it is the product's awesome features. Perhaps. But more than likely it is either the demonstrator's chiseled abs or the lusciousness of the nearby Booth Babes handing out swag engraved with AncientSoft's logo.

Enough of the history lesson. Back to the question: Why demo at trade shows?

The Cranky Product Manager proclaims: The time has come to rethink the ancient, decrepit tradition of demo-ing at trade shows, or even hosting a booth. It is rarely worth the expense in time or dollars.

The CPM knows what she's talking about. At two former employers, the Cranky Product Manager did analyses of return-on-trade-show investment. And guess what? Trade shows came out as huge drains on company resources with scant benefit.

Want more detail?

First, the leads generated were always crap. Hardly any of these folks ended up spending a dime on software. They were people without budget or influence. People without real problems to solve, who were just trying to "keep up with the industry." People more interested in the crappy swag than the product. People looking for a job. People who worked for competitors. People who wanted to hit on the super-hot Cranky Product Manager or the not-quite-as-hot-and-definitely-not-as-smart Booth Babes. People who were so overwhelmed by the trade show's hyped-up atmosphere, or so hung over from the previous night's drunkfest, that they could not even attempt to understand what the company did: Please just drop your literature into my tote bag so I can sort through it back at my office.

Second, the cost of running a booth is ridiculous. The opportunity costs of drawing people away from other tasks for two to four days is huge. Then add the costs of paying $500 to rent each power cord, $800 for a table, $1000 for a carpet, $2000 for a carpet pad, etc... Unreal. But that's not all! You have to hire union laborers to carry your laptops into the building, at a rate of $100 per laptop. And then hire union electricians to plug them into your $500 power cords at the rate of $200 per power adapter fondled- - because everyone knows the act of even touching an electric cord is fraught with so much risk that a licensed professional must assist.

So again, back to the original question: Why demo at trade shows?

And at last, the Cranky Product Manager's answer:

Don't, if you can help it.

In fact, don't display at the trade show at all. Just attend and do some competitive research. Attend the sessions, which are often worthwhile. But don't waste your money running a booth in attempt to generate leads.

But the Cranky Product Manager is a realist. She knows that the Trade Show Tradition is tough to mess with. Your company is going to display at BigFatSoftwareConference-X no matter what you say.

So in that case, you, the Product Manager, might as well make the case that 1) a demo is essential, 2) no mere sales engineer has the necessary brainpower to demo your product effectively, and 3) you must personally attend to demo the product yourself.

And why would you argue this?

1) So that you, as a Product Manager, can secure passage to exotic trade show locations like Paris, London, Vegas, or Hawaii.

2) So that you, as a Product Manager, can have an excuse to hang out with the Booth Babes. Who knows, maybe one of those washed-up-at-age-28 former models will actually speak to you. Maybe your demo of your product's awesomitude will wow her to pieces. Maybe she'll say "Wow, Mr. Product Manager. I am so BLOWN away by your software's advanced monitoring and alerting features. And you say it's I18N compliant to boot? *SWOON* Do you want to buy me a drink later?"

And for the CPM's fellow PM sistahs, we can only wait for the day (far off, no doubt) where either there will be male booth babes or where this annoying and kinda offensive industry custom ends. (But that's a post for another day.)

3) So that you, as a Product Manager, can network with the hiring managers at your competitors and maybe snag yourself a better job. But keep in mind that VPs and Directors of PM are usually speakers or panelists and not slated for demo-duty in the booth. You better secure an All Conference pass to identify and discretely approach them.

Have fun demo-ing at your trade show. Know that even though you are wasting company resources and your own time, at least you are upholding and respecting the centuries-old traditions of the venerable Product Management People. Not only that, you are helping ensure the gainful employ of Booth Babes the world over. So sleep well, young Demo Dolly / Demo Dude, sleep well.

Steve Johnson for President

If you've never seen Steve Johnson of Pragmatic Marketing speak, then you are truly missing out. Seriously, the Cranky Product Manager kids you not. He is one freakin' hilarious dude. Very, very funny while oh-so-in-touch with the inane nature of real-world product management. The Cranky Product Manager once saw him speak, and afterward - no lie - she had to switch out her jeans for a less damp pair.

So, the call to arms. Go vote for Steve. Make him one of the speakers for the awesomely magnificent Business of Software conference.

After Steve wins this select-a-speaker contest, which he undoubtedly will thanks to all of you, beg the powers-that-be for some budget, and go hear his talk.

You will not be disappointed, the Cranky PM assures you.

Just remember to bring an extra change of clothes.

How to Get Hired By The Cranky Product Manager

After her last post, the Cranky Product Manager received a bevy of emails asking "given the recruiting process is a bore that yields lackluster results, how does a candidate rise above the process and snag the job?"

A fine question, Grasshopper.  Sit at the feet of the Cranky Product Manager and receive the wisdom she is about to bestow upon you. 

But first, understand that the Cranky Product Manager can only tell you what impresses her.  Others hiring PMs might be impressed by your deep baritone voice and your MBA (or lack thereof). They might "relate" while you wax poetically on the profound challenges of having responsibility without formal authority.  Whatever.

That said, there are lots of things a candidate could do to impress the Cranky Product Manager.  However, there is one tactic that is very rarely done, but really rocks her world.  When a candidate pulls this maneuver out and executes it flawlessly, well, it makes the Cranky Product Manager swoon. Her heart fills with new-hire lust. During tedious bug scrub meetings, her thoughts drift to fantasies of this rock star joining her team. Oh, how much easier life would be, if only Bobby Bubble would join DysfunctoSoft! Oh my god, I must hire him NOW.

The maneuver is called The PM Skillz Showcase.  Execute it as follows:

During the phone screen and the initial in-person meeting, YOU (the candidate) take the lead.  Interview the Cranky Product Manager about her requirements for the PM position. Just as you would interview a customer about his requirements for a product.  Uncover the "hidden" requirement. Unearth the "use cases" and the business results expected. Learn how the CPM convinced her boss to expand her team, etc. It means asking really good, probing questions, actually LISTENING very carefully to the responses, and verifying that you correctly understand throughout the conversation.

Toward the end of your time slot, summarize your understanding of The Cranky Product Manager's wants and needs and reasons for the position. Write the main points on the white board. (The ability to do a good chalk talk always impresses the CPM).  Make sure the CPM agrees to your summary of her situation and your analysis, and if not, refine it until she does.

Then, and only then, go through the list of requirements you have on the board and discuss your ability to meet each, with some examples from your past.  Point out the areas in which you are particularly strong. Show that you are a straight shooter by also discussing requirements that are not your strengths, where you are merely slightly better than average and not a true demigod, but why it will not be an issue.

Oh yeah, if you have a sales background, the Cranky Product Manager will be expecting you to try to "close" her at this point, but in a low-key way.  Even if you don't hail from Sales, the CPM is looking for some subtle "selling" as evidence of how helpful you'd be on sales calls.

Consider the interview a success if the CPM leaves your list of position requirements up on her board and judges all other candidates against it. Congratulations, you've helped her clarify in her own mind - in a HELPFUL way - what she is trying to accomplish by hiring someone new.  You've wowed her with your ability to build customer rapport, and your prowess in teasing out requirements, underlying business problems, and drivers.  You showed her your ability to synthesize detailed information and fit it into the bigger picture. You've shown you will be helpful on sales calls and not detrimental. And, by helping to define the requirements for the position, you've tilted the playing field in your favor.

Expect an offer* from the Cranky Product Manager within 4-5 months (see previous post about the ponderous "speed" of DysfunctoSoft's recruiting process). Unfortunately, the salary offer will be far too puny for someone of your caliber. Ah well.

*Provided, of course, that you have adequate technical, writing, presentation, marketing,and strategic analysis education and experience. And that you are well-mannered, not an egotistical ass, don't have a history of personality conflicts with developers, etc, etc....